EP 148 What if Communication Isn't What You Think It Is?

What if communication isn’t actually about saying the right words?

In this episode, Audrey Rindlisbacher reframes communication through a deeper, more powerful lens - one rooted in communion, not just conversation. Drawing on insights from C.S. Lewis and timeless principles, she explores how true communication is about unity, attention, and meaningful connection.

If you’ve ever struggled in your relationships, felt misunderstood, or wondered why better “communication skills” haven’t fixed things, this episode will shift how you think - and how you show up.

You’ll learn:

• Why communication is more than words, tone, or body language

• The connection between communication and communion

• How giving, receiving, and attention transform relationships

• Why high-quality relationships are the foundation of a meaningful life

• Practical ways to deepen connection with God, yourself, and others

This is for any woman or mom who wants to build stronger relationships, grow in emotional and spiritual intelligence, and become more intentional in how she connects.

If you’re ready to stop managing conversations and start transforming relationships, this episode will guide you there.

Introduction: Rethinking Communication

Welcome back to the podcast. I’m Audrey Rindlisbacher, author of The Mission-Driven Life and founder of The Mission Driven Mom. And today we’re going to talk about communication.

And I know that may fall a little flat. We have this kind of paradigm in our culture that everything is about communication, and if we could just communicate better, then everything would be better.

And we mean something very specific by that. We usually mean the words we’re saying. Sometimes we talk about body language and how that matters, and tone of voice a little bit. But mostly we think if we just got all the right words right, and we just said all the right things, that our relationships would just be wonderful.

And we go to therapy for this, and we read books, and we go to trainings. And what if communication wasn’t actually what we think it is?

I came across this quote from C.S. Lewis, and it completely reframed the concept of communication for me. And I’ve thought about it differently ever since.

A Deeper Insight from Experience

One of the reasons I want to talk about this today is because I’ve been creating a training that we just did recently.

In creating this training, I was talking about natural law and about tools to help women better understand and recognize truth.

And I wanted the women who attended to have an experience with other women who had been through our program and had a great experience.

As I was going back through so many of those testimonials and vetting them for this training, there was a common theme. There were a few common themes. Truth is obviously one of those.

But one of the common themes was relationships.

These women said over and over again how much better their relationships were. All of their relationships—with God and with themselves, which is what Level One is all about—and then their relationships with everybody else had improved.

And it has to do, at least partly, with this concept of communication.

Communication and Communion

So this is the sentence that I read from C.S. Lewis that really tipped me off:

“I have tried to assume nothing that is not professed by all baptized and communicating Christians.”

I had never thought about the connection between communication, communicating, and communion.

I don’t know why—it had just never occurred to me that they must have the same root word and must have something to do with each other.

Because communion, of course, is when Christians go to church and take the sacrament.

So this got me thinking.

When Lewis says “communicating Christians,” he means people who are actively participating in their faith.

So I went back and did some research. I looked at root words and older definitions. If you’ve been around here long, you know the 1828 dictionary is a resource we use often because we want to understand what words originally meant.

The root of the word commune comes from Latin words meaning identity and unity.

So when you put that together, the root meaning of commune is to unite identities.

Isn’t that fascinating?

The True Meaning of Communication

When we are communicating, what we are meant to be doing is unifying our identities.

We are taking two separate things and helping them understand each other better, come together more, and move toward unity.

Unity of purpose. Unity of understanding.

In the 1828 dictionary, definitions include:

• To converse

• To talk together

• Familiarity

• To partake in the Lord’s Supper

And when you look up “communicating,” it says:

• To impart, to give to another

• To share jointly

• To bestow something to be held, used, or enjoyed

• To mutually share in something

So from a Christian perspective, communion is a reciprocal exchange. God gives to you, and you give back.

It is a process of giving and receiving.

And that is what communication actually is.

A Shift in Perspective

Communication is not just words.

It is:

• Giving

• Receiving

• Enjoying

• Uniting identities

These are elements of communication that we almost never think about.

We focus on body language, skill sets, active listening, and techniques.

But we don’t ask:

What is the goal?

The goal is unity.

The process is reciprocal giving.

So when I think about being in a relationship, and I see communication as a place where I give and receive in order to unite identities, it becomes a completely different experience.

Love as Attention

Another aspect of communication comes from Scott Peck.

He taught that the most important form the work of love takes is attention.

When we think about people who truly love others, they:

• Give without expecting return

• Pay close attention

• Are intentional in how they give

He says that true listening requires setting aside our own perspectives so we can enter into someone else’s world.

This is what real communication looks like.

It is not technique.

It is intention.

Communication Begins Within

We can even do this with ourselves.

One of the reasons journaling and discussion are so powerful is because they allow us to:

• Listen to ourselves

• Empathize with ourselves

• Unite our identity internally

Many women carry false beliefs because they have not truly listened to themselves.

Instead of asking:

What principle can help me here?

We ask:

What’s wrong with me?

But when we commune with ourselves and with God, and align with truth, we begin to understand ourselves better.

What We Are Really Doing When We Communicate

In communication:

• We are set up to give, not just take

• We are trying to unite identities

• We are offering love, acceptance, and attention

And many moms struggle to give themselves that kind of attention.

Not just comfort or distraction—but deep, meaningful attention to real needs.

Why This Matters So Much

Why does communication matter so much?

Because relationships are everything.

Research—like the Harvard study—shows that the people who live the longest and happiest lives have the highest quality relationships.

And those relationships are built on our ability to truly commune.

A Higher Purpose for Communication

There is also a deeper reason.

C.S. Lewis, in The Weight of Glory, explains that our relationships matter because every person we interact with has eternal potential.

He says that the weight of our neighbor’s glory should rest on us.

Meaning:

We are participating in who they are becoming.

Every interaction matters.

Final Reflection Questions

So I want to leave you with a few questions:

When you communicate:

• Are you trying to give or to get?

• Are you trying to connect or to control?

• Do people feel seen and accepted by you?

What would the world look like if we thought of communication as communion?

As giving, receiving, and uniting identities?

Closing Invitation

This is why at The Mission Driven Mom, we focus so heavily on relationships.

Because they are at the heart of our happiness or unhappiness.

And they are shaped by our ability to truly communicate.

I want to invite you to join me for an encore of our recent training. I’ll be giving that presentation again in April.

If you want the tools we discussed, the link is in the description.

In the meantime, think about communion.

Unite your identity. Give your attention.

And watch what happens in your relationships.

I’ll see you next time.