EP 138 Beyond "Just a Mom" to a Mission-Driven Mother
Have you ever felt like you’re “just a mom”… even though you’re doing one of the most important jobs in the world?
In this episode of The Mission-Driven Mom Podcast, Audrey Rindlisbacher speaks to the quiet identity loss so many mothers experience and why modern motherhood often leaves women feeling unseen, depleted, and unsure of who they are becoming.
This episode explores:
• why so many moms feel invisible and exhausted
• how culture and education failed to prepare women for motherhood
• what it really means to move beyond “just a mom”
• the six traits of a mission-driven mother
• how to reclaim purpose, confidence, and identity without leaving motherhood
If you love your children but know there must be more than burnout and self-sacrifice, this conversation is for you.
Listen now and begin the journey from “just a mom” to a mission-driven mother.
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AI GENERATED TRANSCRIPT
Introduction
Welcome back to the podcast. I’m Audrey Rindlisbacher, author of The Mission-Driven Life and founder of The Mission-Driven Mom.
Did you know that one in four moms feel they’ve lost their identity outside of motherhood and feel like they’re “just a mom”? This feeling increases the longer they are parents, and there’s a much larger majority—79 to 94 percent—who feel that their identity beyond motherhood is minimized or invisible.
Many mothers struggle with putting themselves last, with a third of the group deprioritizing self-care, leading to burnout where their identity feels reduced to “just mom.”
If you sometimes feel alone in this journey—if you feel like you are not affirmed by the world around you for the incredibly hard work that you do as a mom—if you don’t know how to fix this for yourself, how to move forward in a way that allows you to show up with optimism and energy for yourself and your family, and also feel like you’re making headway as a woman—if you worry that your own hopes and aspirations are getting lost in your motherhood—then this podcast is for you.
This is for you, Mission-Driven Mom, and especially this episode about going beyond “just a mom” to becoming a mission-driven mother.
A Look Back: Why Modern Motherhood Feels Empty
Last week, we talked about why modern motherhood can make us feel empty. I shared three reasons why that’s the case, the problems it causes, and how it makes us feel. I also gave you some solutions for how to move forward.
Today, I want to tell you three things.
If you feel like you’re “just a mom,” if you feel like your identity as a woman is getting lost in the motherhood shuffle, if you are not making your needs known or acting on them, if you aren’t sure how to move forward—if you are like Valerie, who I quoted last week, one of our students who said she had a wonderful, beautiful family but wasn’t happy and didn’t know why—if those things resonate with you, then there are three really important things that you absolutely need to know.
Leanna’s Story and the Power of Becoming a Creator
Before I get into that, if you tuned in last week, you heard a short story about Leanna and how learning to be a creator—understanding drama and teaching that to her family—literally revolutionized her home. I’m not exaggerating.
She shared a beautiful story about how this work restructured her relationships, elevated her motherhood, and empowered her children and her entire family with a shared language.
Announcing the Return of the MDM Celebration: Mothers of Creation
Because of stories like that, we are reinstituting our MDM Celebration. We are bringing it back. This year’s theme is Mothers of Creation. It will take place in the fall, but we’re starting the conversation now, and we don’t want you to miss it.
I want you to be there on Thursday the 29th—coming up very soon—for a workshop. After that, you’ll be added to an exclusive community. This will be a sneak peek for the event.
From now on, anyone who signs up for the Celebration event will be able to attend this live sneak-peek workshop or view the recording, and then be part of this mentored, exclusive community all year long.
Why We’re Starting the Work Now
Throughout the year, we’ll do a drip experience on concepts and principles from the event. We’ll practice them. We’ll deep dive.
One of the reasons we decided to do this is because as I was reviewing all the content we’re going to cover in the fall, I realized there is so much. I kept thinking, “This is such an important concept—we could practice this for months—but I only have time to gloss over it.”
I can teach the concept, but then we have to move on.
If you’re part of this exclusive community—if you attend the workshop, learn the kickoff material, and then engage in the community all year—you will literally be becoming a Mother of Creation throughout the year. And it will culminate in our in-person event, which I believe is the last Saturday in September.
So go to themissiondrivenmom.com, head to the conference page, and sign up. The sooner, the better—because every day you wait is a day you’re not being mentored, supported, and lifted by this community of women, and a day you’re not becoming a Mother of Creation.
What We’ll Cover in the Workshop
Here are a few things we’re going to cover in the workshop.
We’ll go over the origin of the Drama Triangle, which is actually fascinating. We’ll talk about what the Drama Triangle is and why it matters so much. We’ll help you understand the victim role in particular—how you show up as a victim in everyday life and what that looks like.
Then we’ll talk about the different types of victims. This is a key element that we will not have much time to explore in September, so I’m especially excited for you to get a jump start on this.
We’ll talk about the types of victims, why they matter, and which one you tend to show up as. We’ll discern how that becomes your way of being and give you the antidote—so you know how to get yourself out of victimhood.
Then Lindsey Wright—who we all know is one of the most incredible mentors in the world—will guide you all year inside the community. You’ll practice these concepts, read together, discuss them, and grow. It’s going to be incredible.
Think of it as a mini Academy experience—small, digestible pieces of information you can practice all year, with community support around you.
What This Experience Will Do for You
This experience will do three things for you.
It will jumpstart the content so you’re engaging with it all year long.
It will give you a deeper dive into the material we’ll cover at the event.
And it will provide mentoring and community support so you can become the creator you want to be.
Going Beyond “Just a Mom”: A Personal Story
Now, as we talk about what it means to go beyond being “just a mom” and step into becoming a mission-driven mother, I want to share a personal story—one I think many of you may relate to.
Hopefully you haven’t experienced it the way I did, but I believe you’ll understand the feelings behind it.
To the mom who sees herself as “just a mom,” here are the three things you need to know.
My Early Marriage and Motherhood Reality
As I’ve shared many times—because it’s part of my story, and it was a very painful part of my story—my husband struggled with a pornography addiction. It was particularly severe early in our marriage.
Two weeks after we were married, I had surgery, and the doctor told us to get pregnant right away.
My pregnancies were brutal. I was completely laid up. I lost a lot of weight. I was hospitalized with my second pregnancy. It improved somewhat with the last two, but overall, they were incredibly difficult.
On our first anniversary, I was eight months pregnant, and we continued having babies.
My husband went straight into real estate—a 100 percent commission-based career—so our income was very unstable as he learned the industry.
Meanwhile, I had surgery, got pregnant immediately, became very sick, quit school, and quit work. I had spent several years at a good university, but I never finished my degree. I didn’t have strong marketable skills, and I didn’t want to leave my babies anyway.
The Accumulation of Pressure
We already had one child, and I didn’t want them to grow up alone. It mattered deeply to me that my children be close and become friends. So we kept going.
Our children ended up being spaced about two to three years apart because the pregnancies were so hard.
At the same time, finances were difficult. Our marriage was difficult. Becoming a new mom was difficult. And both of our extended families were struggling.
My parents were separated and going through a very hard time. Blaine’s parents divorced during our early years of marriage.
It was layer upon layer of difficulty.
Eventually, I reached a breaking point. I felt depleted. I felt brain-dead. I felt overwhelmed.
I hit a wall and realized how unprepared I was—to manage my emotions, my thoughts, my time, my finances, extended family relationships, and the addiction we were dealing with in our marriage.
The Breaking Point
One day—honestly, I don’t even remember what triggered it—I think Blaine may have acted out or something had happened between us.
He came out one morning ready for work, we exchanged words, and I followed him into the garage. When he turned around and questioned me, I slapped him across the face.
That was the only time I’ve ever struck someone, and it was a huge wake-up call for both of us.
He was stunned. He just stood there staring at me. I couldn’t believe what I had done. He got in the car and left.
The First Step Toward Change
To his credit, he loved God deeply. He loved me. He loved our children. And he truly wanted things to be better.
When he arrived at the office, he got on his knees, begged God for guidance, opened the phone book, and called a therapist.
That therapy wasn’t particularly helpful. Many of the therapies, support groups, and books we tried weren’t helpful either. I searched relentlessly for answers, and nothing seemed to work.
Then I found this education.
That’s when everything began to change.
Transformation Over Time
Within a few years of that moment—of slapping Blaine across the face in utter desperation—I was running a book club in my home with over fifty people attending every week.
Our marriage was in a much better place. We were in our own home. Our finances had improved.
We still had rough patches. We still had growth to do—and we still do—but within a few short years, that transformation occurred.
The book club led to building a homeschool organization, which eventually served over a hundred families.
Why I’m Telling You This
I’m telling you this because you might look at me now and think, “Well, Audrey has a podcast, she built an academy, she mentors women—I could never do that.”
First of all, that might not even be your calling or where your gifts lie.
But that’s not the point.
The point is that the things we teach women are the same things that changed me. I know they work because they transformed my life.
Over time, those tools led to other projects, and eventually to founding The Mission-Driven Mom.
Today, we’ve helped over 600 women.
The Three Things You Need to Know
And what I want you to know—I’m going to tell you these three things because no matter how stuck you feel, and no matter how much you feel like “just a mom” right now, there are three things that are absolutely true that you need to know.
Truth #1: Motherhood Is Courageous
The first one that you need to know is a quote by Gilda Radner. She said, “Motherhood is the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It’s huge and scary. It’s an act of infinite optimism.”
I’m going to read it one more time: “Motherhood is the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It’s huge and scary. It’s an act of infinite optimism.”
If you listened to a podcast that I did recently for people who are thinking about not having children, you heard in that podcast a lot that I have to say about how courageous it is to be a mother. It is one of the most courageous things that you can ever do.
I want to read you some things that I wrote about you.
You took the risk of engaging in the messy business of raising children. Only you know how incredible and frightening this journey is. You give it your all. You are determined to see your children become individuals of faith and virtue and character and courage, and you are willing to sacrifice anything to build the best world possible for your children to inherit.
I know that that’s who you are, and I know that what you need and want is balance—because you want to be an excellent mother, and you want personal development. You want self-acceptance and courage. You want to be seen and matter and belong, but you also want to grow and thrive and succeed.
And all of these desires are the kinds of things that we open the door for at The Mission-Driven Mom. Even if you just listened to this podcast and read the book and got serious—and you can get the book for free at The Mission-Driven Mom—and got serious about living those 7 Laws of Life mission and got serious about being a truth seeker, you can become more than you are. You can find that balance.
A mission-driven mom is a movement of mothers who are working together to create a better world for our children and grandchildren by gaining the education which we never had, which ennobles us to lead ourselves and our families and our communities with truth. That is what we’re doing here.
We are linking arms and we are working together. We are gaining the right kind of education, which we never had. We are pushing back on the culture that tells us that what we do isn’t of value, and we are ennobled by these choices to lead ourselves, to lead our families, and to lead our communities.
What It Means to Be Ennobled
When I started thinking about these concepts—and we have some rebranding coming for The Mission-Driven Mom, which I’m super excited about, and we’re going to talk more in detail about what that branding means—the word ennoble is part of that rebranding, and I want to talk to you about what being ennobled means.
To ennoble someone is to lead them to greater dignity or nobility of character. It means to elevate them—make them more honorable, dignified, or excellent. Often through a great deed or by imparting a higher moral quality. It signifies making someone better or more worthy of admiration, whether through suffering, talent, or virtuous actions—elevating their character or status.
That is what we do for each other at The Mission-Driven Mom.
We ennoble each other. The things that we read, the actions that we take, the accountability partners that we have, the workshops that we attend, the discussions that we engage in, the community service work, the read-alouds with our children, the things that we do in the community, in the MDM Academy, on this podcast, in our events—they are all structured to ennoble all of us, for all of us to be elevated in these beautiful, rich ways.
And if we are going to be ennobled to lead ourselves and our families and our communities with truth, it’s important to remember that truth is the quality of being in accord with reality. It’s what is actual, genuine, and honest—the opposite of falsehood and deception.
This is who you are.
So the first thing I want to tell you is: you are this kind of woman. I know that’s what’s in you. I know those are the things that you want and need. I know those are the things that you’re looking for. I know that you’re like us and you want to be ennobled, and you want that balance—but I also know that you already have a high moral quality because you’re here, because you’re listening, because you’re seeking, and because you want more.
And there’s that hope that things could be better. And that hope comes from knowing that there is truth, and that it can make us free. And as we are truth seekers, we can find the truth, and it will make us free.
Truth #2: You Can Become More Than You Feel Right Now
So the second thing I want to tell you is the result of that—of knowing the quality of woman that you are and the desires that are in your heart.
You may feel just like a mom, but you can do all sorts of things that right now might feel impossible to do—but you really can.
And I’m going to list some of these things that I have seen women do, that I have done myself, and that I know that you can do.
You can learn to solve your significant problems. You can restore your closest relationships. You can gain deep self-knowledge and self-acceptance. You can love and like yourself. You can link arms with moms and make a difference. You can discern the truth in our confusing culture. You can be enlightened and lifted out of your problems and into your dreams and potential. You can become the example you want to be for your children. You can help us restore virtue to our communities. You can make unique and meaningful contributions. You can discover your unique gifts and use them to serve. You can belong and flourish in a community of noble women.
I know that you can. I have seen hundreds of women do this—women just like you and just like me.
In that moment where you’re slapping your husband across the face because you’re absolutely at your total and complete wits’ end—you have no idea how to move forward in your life. You have no idea where the answers are.
And I know there’s all kinds of garbage out there that’s telling you that it has the answers. And I know you’ve tried things, and some of them might have worked a little bit and some of them haven’t worked.
And if you’re feeling like “just a mom” and you’re feeling discouraged, I want to tell you that you are an incredible woman, and you can become more.
If you have the right tools and resources, you can become the kind of woman I know you want to be.
Truth #3: You Can Become a Mission-Driven Mom
The third thing I want to tell you is that as you take actions to be a truth seeker, as you plug into the 7 Laws of Life mission, as you seek truth, as you grab classics, as you engage in self-knowledge and self-discovery—you will be moving toward the six traits of a mission-driven mother, and you can become a truly mission-driven mom.
What is a mission-driven mom? How do we go from “just a mom” to a mission-driven mom?
We understand that our dreams are the most noble part of us. That the things that we want are attainable. We latch onto that hope and we take steps in faith, and we take the actions to live the 7 Laws of Life mission that help us to become mission-driven mothers.
Here are the six traits of a mission-driven mom.
The Six Traits of a Mission-Driven Mom
Trait #1: She Draws Worth From God
Number one, she is connected to God and draws her sense of value and worth from Him.
You are not taking the cue from your own terrible self-talk—because I’ve had all the terrible self-talk, and I know the way that we talk to ourselves, and it’s a bunch of lies.
You’re not going to draw your worth from your spouse, or from your friends, or from our culture, or from your children or their choices, or from your talents, or from the money that you earn, or from where you are in your career—none of that matters.
Your worth is being drawn from the infinite Being who created you, who knows and loves you, who accepts you completely and entirely, and loves you completely and entirely as you are in this moment—and who wants to walk with you on a journey of self-discovery, where you figure out how much more you can be, because you’re doing it for you and you’re doing it to be the example that your children need.
If you need to say that you’re doing it for your children, go ahead and say that. I’ve said it plenty of times—because they need a mom who’s on fire. They need a mom who knows who she is, who leads herself and her family, and who leads in her community using her gifts with confidence, who has like-minded friends with like-minded families, who links arms with them and goes out there and confidently shares truth.
Trait #2: She Has Confidence Rooted in Truth
So the second trait of a mission-driven mom is that she has confidence in herself and her choices because of the truths that she learns and lives.
You do not have to have all the answers all the time in order to be a great, confident leader—in order to make decisions that you feel good about.
You just need to understand what truth is. You need to know what principles are, and then know how to discover and lean into them, and you will be able to make decisions and move forward and lead yourself and others.
Trait #3: She Is Intentional With Time and Energy
The third trait is that mission-driven moms are intentional with their time and energy, and they utilize them to love themselves and others.
We talk about this a lot in the Academy—that love is an action. It’s something that you choose to do, and the feelings of love follow the actions of love.
And so no matter how you feel about yourself or someone else in your life, you choose love—and you understand that everything that you do in the name of love, or that other people do in the name of love, is not loving.
So you pay the price to become acquainted with the true nature of love, and you love by living principles, and you’re intentional in using your time and energy to love.
Mother Teresa said, “Our mission is to convey God’s love,” and these truths are His truths. And so as we disseminate them and align our lives with them, we are actually following God and partnering with Him in our lives.
And then it enables us to love properly, instead of doing all kinds of unhealthy things or having unhealthy things done to us and not knowing what to do about them.
Trait #4: She Develops and Uses Her Gifts
The fourth trait: a mission-driven mom knows her greatest gifts. She actively develops them, and she uses them in the service of others.
You can do this.
I was on so many podcasts the last few months, and often the host or hostess would say at the end, “Well, what do you want to leave with our audience?” And I almost always said the same kind of thing:
You are way more gifted than you think you are.
Because I was where you are. I had 15 years of formal education—and I said this last week—and I just didn’t have any idea what I was good at.
I knew I had some special interests. I loved studying art history, but I wasn’t an artist. I loved listening to great music, but I wasn’t a musician. And I wasn’t a great accountant, and I didn’t think I could be a great attorney—so what was there for me to be and do?
And there are so many things. That’s why there are so many self-discovery activities all throughout the MDM Academy—because it’s so important that you know yourself really well.
Mission-driven moms know what they’re good at. They’re developing their talents and using them to serve.
And can you imagine the rich example this sets for your children? Like, motherhood is awesome and womanhood is awesome and adulthood is awesome. And sometimes my parents fight and sometimes my mom cries, but she picks herself back up and then she’s stronger for the trial, and she figures out new ways to problem solve.
I know that’s what you want. That’s who you want to be. That’s what you want to give your family.
Trait #5: She Lives With Purpose and Goals
The fifth trait is feeling a strong sense of purpose and fulfillment every day as you work toward predetermined goals.
This is where, you know, being a mother—I don’t know, can anything outshine that sense of purpose that motherhood brings? Probably not.
But it doesn’t fill up every single space in our hearts and minds. We have a responsibility to do that for ourselves.
We have a responsibility to ourselves—to know ourselves and to find deeper meaning and purpose by setting and working toward goals, meaningful goals that enrich us and the people around us.
And the Academy also helps you do that. We talk a lot about not only finding and writing actionable principles, but we talk a lot about application of principles and tool sets for living them out—for what we call practicing principles.
And as you learn how to find principles and practice them, then your goals become very obvious, and you work toward living those principles more fully.
Trait #6: She Brings Her Family Along
The sixth trait of a mission-driven mom is that she teaches her family what she’s learning as she grows and leads them on their mission-driven journey together.
She understands the importance—like Leanna from last week’s podcast, and like so many other testimonials we’ve received from our moms—that you bring your family on this journey.
That’s why we have read-alouds in Level One—so that you can pick a really awesome book off the shelf, and we know that it’s saturated with the principles that you’ve learned, and you can, through storytelling and bonding and snuggling and time together, pass those principles on to your children and create discussion points and all of that.
But in the end, a mission-driven mom continues to teach her family.
I remember being at an event a few years ago with one of our moms who was, I think, partway through Level Two or something. And at this event, it was fascinating—because one of her biggest takeaways was that she had not been teaching her family all of the things she had been learning.
And so her big plan—her way of having greater purpose and being more intentional with her time and energy and loving them more—was to go home and teach them more of what she’d learned.
That’s what mission-driven moms do.
Closing Encouragement and Invitation
So I want you to know three things: that you are courageous, incredible, and that those deep desires that you have to chase your potential while you level up as a mom are the best part of you. They’re noble, and I know that that’s what you desire.
The second thing I want you to know is that you can do that. It’s not just that that’s what you want. It’s not just that even though you feel like “just a mom” and you feel stuck, and you just hope that you could become that—you can.
I have watched women do all of those things. You can. And I want you to know that those six traits of a mission-driven mom are the goalpost for you.
That’s where we’re all headed, and we’re all doing those things—inculcating those traits into our character line upon line, bit by bit, day by day. That’s the aspiration that we’re all striving toward, and we become ennobled and we ennoble each other as we strive to become a more mission-driven mom.
And so as you set those six traits in front of you, and as you make a determination to become not “just a mom,” but a mission-driven mom, it will transform you.
So as we finish up here, I want to end with reinforcing again that yes, you can become a noble, virtuous, intentional wife and mother. Yes, you can be a great mother and woman. Yes, you can put yourself and your family first. Yes, you can discover and use your gifts to serve in your community.
And yes—you’re the only one that needs to change.
And what’s so great about that is that you’re the only one that you can change. And you have so much more power than you think you do. You can transform yourself and your family—and believe it or not, your community.
I hope that those words of encouragement sink down into your heart. Listen to this again and again if it helps you.
And remember that we believe in you. We know what an incredible woman you are, and we are here to help and support you in any and all of the ways that we possibly can to help you become more of that mission-driven mother that you want to be.
Make sure, if you’ve not already signed up, that you head over to themissiondrivenmom.com, go to the conference page, and sign up so that I can see you at the workshop on the 29th, and you can become part of that community and become more of a Mother of Creation—more of a creator in your own life—all throughout this whole year. It’s going to be a phenomenal journey, and I don’t want you to miss any of it.
Thank you so much for joining me here today.
Next Week: Interview Preview
I have great news. Next week, you can look forward to an interview with a woman named Suzy Mighell, who I was very honored to meet.
This one is especially for empty nesters, but I want every one of you to listen carefully, because I wish I would’ve known what she was teaching 10 years ago, and I wish I would’ve known how to prepare better for moving toward adult children and empty nesting—because I was not well prepared enough. And it has been a bumpy road for me.
And we’re going to smooth that road with this interview.
You can go grab her book as well: Empty Nest Blessed. You can check her out—her name is Suzy Mighell.
We will be talking next week all about how to prepare for that time period, what’s so beautiful and rich about it, and how you can continue to level up as a woman and as a mother all the rest of your life.
Looking forward to that discussion with her. I will see you then.
