EP 136: If You Think You Don't Want A Family, Think Again!
Are you questioning whether you want a family, marriage, or children? As more women choose to be single and childfree, conversations about feminism, happiness, and personal fulfillment are everywhere. By 2030, nearly half of women ages 25–44 are projected to be single and without children, and many are celebrating this as freedom, empowerment, and choice.
In this episode, I offer a thoughtful pushback. Not to shame, not to judge, but to invite deeper thinking. Drawing on decades of experience working with women and families, long-term research on happiness and wellbeing, and my own deeply personal story, I walk through four essential truths every woman deserves to consider before deciding she’s “out” on marriage and family. We talk about why relationships matter more than we’ve been told, why feminism hasn’t delivered the happiness it promised, how meaning is inseparable from responsibility, and why wanting something isn’t the same as needing it. This conversation may challenge you, but if you’re willing to stay with it, it might also change how you see your future, your relationships, and your own potential.
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LINKS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE
What is a good life?
https://youtu.be/8KkKuTCFvzI?si=S6Q101owT9uVaw9D
Books Referenced
The End of Woman by Carrie Gress https://a.co/d/3Sdsh0a
Mere Christianity by CS Lewis https://a.co/d/gMuVf98
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey https://a.co/d/gP6X4bU
Reforming Education by Mortimer Adler https://a.co/d/2OvbaY0
What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us by Danielle Crittenden https://a.co/d/bFGTxkk
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Transcript (AI Generated)
Welcome back to the podcast. I’m Audrey Rindlisbacher, author of The Mission-Driven Life, founder of The Mission Driven Mom, and I’m so glad you’re joining me today.
This episode is a pushback to a recent phenomenon circulating on social media. It centers around a statistic that claims that by 2030, an estimated 45% of women ages 25 to 44 will be single and child-free.
There are many young women saying they are choosing to go without family—that it’s not what they want, that they want something else, and that they know what they want. They believe that what they want will make them happy.
I’m going to give you four really important things to consider if you are in this camp. I’m pushing back on the assumption that this is all fine and well—that you should “do you,” that this is your truth, and that it’s automatically the right thing for you.
This podcast will probably make some people mad. Some of you will say, “Audrey, you’ve been married over 30 years. You haven’t been in the dating market. You stayed home and raised kids. You don’t get a voice here.”
My argument is that this is exactly why I do get a voice. I’ve worked with thousands of women—especially mothers. I know women. I know what many women want, and I know many of the problems this life choice creates. If you think you don’t want a family, you need to think again.
Point One: Relationships Are Everything
I’m going to keep this tight. I’ll link resources in the description if you want to go deeper.
One of the most important talks you could ever watch is Robert Waldinger’s TED Talk, What Makes a Good Life. It explains—objectively—what creates long-term happiness.
At Mission Driven Mom, we believe in truths that are always true. One of them is this: relationships are everything.
Waldinger presents the longest scientific study in history—a Harvard study spanning over 85 years and multiple generations. Researchers tracked hundreds of men, their wives, and now their children, collecting extensive physical, emotional, relational, and neurological data.
After decades of analysis, the conclusion was clear: good relationships keep us happier and healthier, period.
They determine physical health, mental health, longevity, memory retention, and overall life satisfaction. People without quality life partners experienced earlier cognitive decline, poorer health, and shorter lives.
Warm, supportive relationships are protective. Conflict is normal, but trust is essential. If you want the best health, fulfillment, and happiness, you need a partner you can rely on.
Every great thinker across history agrees on this: growth requires risk. And the greatest risk is giving your heart.
Many women respond by saying, “There are no good men,” or “We can replace family with friendships.” I’ll address that shortly.
C.S. Lewis once said that children playing happily in a mud puddle will reject an invitation to the sea because they don’t know what the sea is like. That’s what happens when we reject marriage and family without fully understanding what we’re walking away from.
I don’t doubt your pain. I don’t doubt your bad experiences. I know there’s luck involved, loss involved, abandonment involved. I’ve experienced abandonment myself.
I’m not saying you control everything. I am saying you deserve better information before making one of the biggest decisions of your life.
Point Two: The Feminist Movement Did Not Make Us Happier
By many objective measures, women’s lives have improved. But multiple studies—including Yale Law and the National Library of Medicine—show that women’s subjective happiness has declined, both absolutely and relative to men.
Women today report being less happy than women in the 1950s.
I’m not saying feminism caused all problems or brought no benefits. I am saying it deserves honest scrutiny.
Second-wave feminism taught women that vulnerability—especially motherhood—was the problem. The solution? Become more like men. Eliminate dependency. Erase patriarchy.
But vulnerability is not a flaw; it’s part of being human.
Authors like Carrie Gress and Danielle Crittenden document how feminism misdiagnosed women’s suffering and prescribed a fix that ignored womanhood itself. Instead of healing women, it slowly erased them.
Even popular culture revealed the cracks. In the 1980s, Cosmopolitan published maps showing where women could move to find husbands due to a “man shortage.”
Sixty years later, women are still unhappy—and still being told to lean in harder.
I’m not advocating a return to the past. I’m a business owner. I value progress. But rejecting family entirely is not progress—it’s confusion rooted in incomplete information.
Point Three: Meaning Comes from Responsibility
Jordan Peterson and others articulate what we intuitively know: careers—even dream careers—cannot meet all human needs.
Meaning comes from responsibility.
Independence feels good, but interdependence is the higher principle. You want responsibility on steroids? Raise a child. You can’t quit. You can’t walk away. You can’t outsource it.
Rights and duties are two sides of the same coin. The deepest joy comes with the greatest responsibility.
We grow when we’re challenged. Family forces empathy, forgiveness, patience, humility, and selflessness—virtues that make us fully human.
Point Four: We Don’t Always Know What We Need
Alfred Adler taught that needs are absolute, wants are relative. We often want things that harm us and avoid things that would help us thrive.
Our culture glorifies “do what you want,” yet the most fulfilled people consistently do what they need.
Maybe we need family. Maybe we need deep partnership. The Harvard study strongly suggests we do.
Loneliness is now a declared epidemic. Humans are social beings. Relationships are not optional.
A Personal Word
I’ve been married nearly 32 years. My marriage has been incredibly hard. We’ve faced addiction, betrayal, financial devastation, parenting challenges, and loss.
We made it not because it was easy—but because we both wanted it and committed to learning how to love better.
I’ve watched my sons do everything possible to save their marriages—therapy, books, humility—only to be left. There are good men. Many women can’t see them because culture has taught them to fear vulnerability and expect fantasy.
Final Encouragement
Don’t decide yet.
Comfort today does not equal fulfillment tomorrow.
Every woman—single or married—should work on herself and learn how to build healthy relationships. Love is action. Boundaries teach. Forgiveness frees. Humility begins all progress.
You don’t get to rewrite human nature. You don’t get to ignore truths that have worked for millennia.
If you’re scared, I get it. If you’ve been hurt, I get it. But you don’t know who you could become if you commit to growth.
Relationships are everything.
Thank you for listening. I know some of you will be upset. Others may feel seen. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
If you want to learn more about Mission Driven Mom, visit themissiondrivenmom.com and download the first three chapters of The Mission-Driven Life.
I’ll see you next time.
