EP 115: One Shift Away: The Secret to Your Mission Driven Life
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We want change SO badly! We want to solve the persistent problems we struggle with. We want to move past our roadblocks and begin meeting our potential!
But we feel so stuck!
In this episode Audrey teaches you one KEY SECRET that unlocks everything for you! When you understand the 3 tools to creating the quantum leap you long for, you'll be on your way to the transformation that makes everything else possible--especially discovering and fulfilling YOUR unique life missions!
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Podcast Transcript (AI Generated)
 Welcome back to the podcast. I'm Audrey Rindlisbacher, author of The Mission Driven Life and Founder of the Mission Driven Mom. If you’re new to this podcast, you might want to keep up with the latest episodes, but also consider going back and starting from the beginning. We’ve reorganized some of them to give you a solid overview of the Seven Laws of Life Mission and everything we cover here on the Mission Driven Mom Podcast and in our academies.
You can also visit themissiondrivenmom.com and get your free audiobook of The Mission Driven Life. That book will help you discover and fulfill your unique contribution to the world. It’s a deep dive into the Seven Laws of Life Mission and provides the foundational background for everything we do.
The goal of this podcast—always and forever—is to help you understand how brilliant and unique you are. I want you to know that God has specific missions for you, and that you can pursue those missions by discovering your talents and gifts, and using them to serve your family and community—all while strengthening your family and bettering yourself.
It’s a beautiful experience that can unfold for you, your family, and your community when you step into a mission-driven life and get busy discovering and fulfilling the missions God has given you.
You can always expect us to talk about the Seven Laws and explore different aspects of a mission-driven life—things that will help you stay on that path and grow.
Today, I’m really excited to spend a few minutes talking to you about something that goes way deeper than most of the information you’ll find out there. It goes deeper than your attitude. It goes deeper than your behavior.
A lot of what we come across in the world of self-help and self-improvement focuses heavily on attitude and behavior. But today, I want to talk to you about something that gets to the root of what’s really going on inside people like you and me—people who want real change.
We want to improve our marriages, our finances, our ability to organize our lives. We want to like and love ourselves and have more confidence. We want to better meet challenges and overcome persistent problems. Because we’re those kinds of people—we’re growth-oriented.
But sometimes, what gets in the way is all the surface-level advice out there telling you to "work on your attitude" or "change your behavior." What we’re going to talk about today goes deeper than that. I call it a quantum leap.
When you understand what I’m going to share—and when you begin implementing the three tools I’ll give you—you’ll experience a shift where your attitude and behavior begin to change automatically. It won’t feel so hard to get up in the morning and be different—because you are different.
Let me start with a story from my own life—how I faced a problem, and how this deeper concept helped me find a real solution.
Years ago, I was struggling with feelings about some extended family members. From my perspective, they were doing much better than we were financially. Their businesses were growing, they were taking more vacations, having more things… and I wanted those things too. I’m an ambitious person, and I couldn’t figure out how we could get those results while still keeping my highest priority: being a full-time mom.
I felt stuck and frustrated. That’s what was going on internally. On the outside, I put on my best behavior. I geared myself up to have a positive attitude at family gatherings. I was kind, asked people about their lives, and tried to do all the “right” things. I was constantly working on my attitude and behavior—trying to forgive, trying to stay focused on my own goals.
But inside? I was judging. I was comparing. Sometimes, I would elevate myself morally and judge them harshly about things I didn’t really understand. It was all stemming from something deeper—what we’re going to call paradigms.
At the time, I didn’t understand that. I just knew I felt uncomfortable. I didn’t know how to engage in a way that was good for me and good for them. And despite all the things I was trying—praying, reading, working hard—I was still struggling. But I wanted things to be different.
So I began doing the three things I’m going to share with you today. One of them was choosing to have an open heart and mind—to be willing to consider new perspectives.
At some point along the way, I stumbled across a book—because I was also doing another one of the tools I’ll share: actively pursuing new knowledge around the areas where I felt stuck. I was reading books, asking questions, and trying to learn.
The book I found was Leadership and Self-Deception. I remember exactly where I was when the paradigm shift happened—because paradigm shifts are that powerful. I was visiting a friend, sitting on her porch in a rocking chair, reading that book. And suddenly, it hit me. I had an insight so powerful that I knew exactly what the problem was, what had been causing it, and what I needed to do next.
That’s what a paradigm shift is. It causes you to see the world in a completely new way. So new, in fact, that your attitudes and behaviors begin to follow naturally.
The word paradigm comes from the Greek word paradigma, which means "pattern." A paradigm is a model or mental image of the way things are. It’s the deepest layer of who we are. We develop our paradigms as we grow up, through the experiences we have and the things we’re taught. They shape how we see the world.
Paradigms are powerful—and you can see that in people whose paradigms are deeply broken. For example, consider a woman who was abused growing up and continues to enter abusive relationships as an adult. Her paradigms about herself and the world are so damaged that she believes this kind of treatment is normal.
She doesn't know how to get out of it. She doesn't know how to see herself, other people, or her interactions with them differently. These patterns are deeply entrenched. But you and I, looking from the outside in, can see what’s really going on—it’s a paradigm problem. She sees the world and herself in fundamentally broken and unhealthy ways.
And so, no matter how much she works on her attitude or behavior, she’s going to keep acting in alignment with the way she sees the world.
Another way to think about this is through the analogy of a map. If you listened to my podcast on What Is Truth, I shared some analogies for reality and truth—one of them being that truth is like a map. Just as Seattle is a real place, a map of Seattle is either right or wrong depending on how accurately it reflects the real city. And if the map is accurate, it will help you navigate Seattle successfully—you’re least likely to get lost and most likely to reach your destination in the fastest, most effective way.
The same goes for us. If we have maps—or paradigms—about the nature of reality that are broken, faulty, or distorted, we won't be able to navigate life effectively. Just like the woman who continues to go from abuser to abuser, we’ll stay stuck in our same persistent problems.
Stephen Covey says that all of us think we see the world as it is—but in reality, we see the world as we are. We project onto everything and everyone our own perceptions of right and wrong, how people should behave, what’s good, what’s bad—all based on the paradigms we’ve developed.
A paradigm shift is when we have a moment so radical, it’s like the scales fall off our eyes. We see everything differently. And once we see it, we can’t unsee it. And because we see things differently, we automatically start behaving differently. Suddenly, we don’t have to exert so much effort trying to fix our attitude about that thing—it’s just changed.
So, if we want lasting change, instead of only working on our attitude or constantly managing our behavior—and let me be clear, sometimes that is the right place to work—we need to look for patterns in our lives that keep repeating.
Maybe we argue with our spouse every Saturday afternoon.
Maybe our kids never do their chores.
Maybe we wake up feeling down and discouraged day after day.
Maybe we lack the confidence to pursue the things we really want.
Maybe our relationships always seem to fall apart.
Maybe we’re always, always out of money.
If we’re facing persistent patterns like these—recurring struggles that never seem to go away—we can be fairly sure that we’re dealing with a broken paradigm. And while principles will always help us climb out of that rut, sometimes we need to see the principles in a new way. We need a new lens. That’s why we must do the work of creating paradigm shifts.
Jesus promised that if we ask, we will receive. God loves to help those who are willing to help themselves. So how do we ask? We ask by doing these three things that lead to paradigm shifts:
- Expose yourself to people who have what you want.
Spend time with them. Observe their specific behaviors. See how they live out the principles you’re trying to live. Let their attitudes rub off on you. If you want a stronger marriage, spend time with couples who have strong, healthy marriages. Listen to how they talk about their spouse. Watch how they interact. - Immerse yourself in what they’ve written or created.
You may not be able to sit down with someone like Dave Ramsey, but you can read his books. You can watch his videos. You can learn from his teachings. Surround yourself with the wisdom of people who have what you want. - Keep an open heart and mind.
Stay humble. Acknowledge that you may not yet fully understand the principles you need to live. Admit that you still have work to do on your attitude or behavior. But more importantly, recognize that what you really need might be a deep paradigm shift—a fundamental change in how you see reality.
Let me give you a real-life example from my friend and colleague Lindsay Wright, who’s been with Mission Driven Mom for a long time. You may have seen her in courses or recordings—she’s amazing.
Lindsay used to struggle with exercising consistently. She knew she needed to do it, and the more she learned about the principle of caring for her body, the more her conviction grew. But still—it was a grind. She constantly had to make herself do it. Her attitudes and behaviors didn’t flow naturally.
She was receiving some of the benefits of living the principle—because the blessings of true principles are inseparably connected—but it still felt like a struggle. So she kept searching for the paradigm shift. She kept immersing herself in environments and materials that reinforced that principle. And eventually, she saw it differently. Once the shift happened, everything became easier. Her behavior changed naturally—because she had changed the way she saw the principle.
That’s how a paradigm shift works.
In my own experience, the book Leadership and Self-Deception gave me a paradigm shift that was truly life-changing. I suddenly realized I was the one creating the tension in those family relationships—not them.
I was constantly comparing myself to them. And I realized that my behaviors and attitudes—while “good” on the outside—weren’t what mattered most. What truly mattered was how I actually felt about them.
I understood, in that moment, that even though I was the one who felt most uncomfortable in those interactions, I was also the one creating the discomfort. The other people weren’t going home and judging me or gossiping about me—I was doing that.
And no matter how polite I acted, what was being communicated to them wasn’t my words or actions—it was my feelings. What I really felt in my heart. That’s what they were picking up on.
So I realized: I couldn’t expect to have a good relationship with them unless I changed the way I fundamentally saw them.
That was the core of the paradigm shift. Not just for those relationships—but for how I saw the world. I knew I didn’t truly know them. I knew I was making assumptions and judgments that weren’t fair. And those assumptions were creating the wrong feelings, which were driving my interactions.
That’s when it hit me: Attitudes and behaviors alone won’t fix broken relationships—or any other persistent life issue. Only a change in paradigm will.
I realized that I couldn't just show up, be “good,” and do what I was supposed to be doing. I had to fundamentally see the person—honestly—and love them genuinely if I expected to have a good relationship with them. That meant I needed to get to know them better, and I needed to serve them. And those were things I wasn’t doing.
That paradigm shift helped me see everything differently—not just those specific relationships, but all my relationships. Since then, my behavior has changed. My attitudes have changed. In that moment, I instantly forgave them. It was like the scales just fell from my eyes.
I suddenly understood that half the things I had blamed them for had never even happened—or probably weren’t even thought by them. I realized I had been making up stories in my head. Everything became very clear.
Paradigm shifts change the map. They correct our internal map and reorient us to the territory of reality. They reveal key elements of principles we weren't seeing before, and they help change our attitudes and desires around those principles—permanently.
Lindsay had a similar experience when she finally had a paradigm shift around exercise. She came across some information about the science behind what exercise does for your body—what happens biologically. And for her, that was the shift she needed.
She realized: This is biological. It’s part of the fabric of reality. If I want to function properly, I have to do this. I can’t behave the way I want to unless I support my biology. That shift changed everything for her.
And paradigm shifts will come—because God loves you. He wants to help you correct your internal map. He wants you to see yourself and the world more accurately. He wants you to live according to truth and receive the blessings of living true principles.
Let me read you a few things from Stephen Covey, who taught me so much about paradigm shifts. This is from the beginning of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.
He writes:
"We think we see things as they are, but we don’t. When we open our mouths to describe what we see, we in effect describe ourselves, our perceptions, our paradigms. When other people disagree with us, we immediately think something is wrong with them—but sincere, clearheaded people see things differently, each looking through the unique lens of their own experience."
That’s what I was doing with my family members—I was judging, comparing, and filtering their behavior through my values, my expectations, my broken perceptions. And we all do that.
One of our MDM students once said that the biggest impact the MDM Academy had on her was that it "changed the lenses." She said it felt like someone wiped off years of buildup—like film or dirt—on her glasses. Suddenly, she could see herself and the world clearly for the first time.
Covey goes on:
"The more aware we are of our basic paradigms, maps, or assumptions—and the extent to which we have been influenced by our experience—the more we can take responsibility for those paradigms, examine them, test them against reality, listen to others, and be open to their perceptions… thereby getting a larger picture and a far more objective view."
This process happens when we embrace self-education—when we finally say:
“I’m tired of this pattern showing up in my life. My paradigm around this must be broken. I must be seeing something incorrectly. I want to break that pattern—so I need a paradigm shift.”
And that is exactly why we built the MDM Academy the way we did.
We’ve layered in powerful testimonies from multiple authors. One teacher presents a principle one way, then another teaches it differently. You read small, rich selections. You watch short clips. You hear voices sharing what this principle means to them and why it’s so important.
We’ve created a space where paradigm shifts happen faster and more frequently—because you’re being immersed in truth. You’re hearing from the best voices, the wisest minds, and you're surrounded by a community of people striving for the same thing. You're working with mentors who have those paradigm shifts and can reflect them back to you.
It’s an environment that invites personal transformation. Paradigm shifts happen because you've put yourself in a place where they can happen.
That’s also why people take courses or hire therapists and life coaches. They need their patterns challenged. They need their paradigms examined. They need someone to reflect their reality back to them so they can see it more clearly.
Now, not all therapists or coaches are helpful—some just keep us on the same hamster wheel. But the really good ones will challenge your thinking and ask the right questions so you can finally get off that wheel and experience forward momentum.
Another powerful paradigm shift I had in my own life was recognizing that I was a rescuer. I learned about the Drama Triangle, and it completely changed the way I saw myself and my parenting.
I realized I had been rescuing as a mom—and that it was deeply damaging to both me and my children. I began to hear voices, read books, and learn from the best sources. Over time, I began to understand the true consequences of rescuing. And that led me to the paradigm shift I needed:
I need to stop being a rescuer.
I need to become a coach instead.
And sometimes, I need to be a challenger.
And that shift—again—changed everything.
And the challenger—people can push back against the challenger. People don’t always like the person who’s coaching or challenging them. But that’s okay. I can take the heat, because it’s best for everyone if I show up differently.
I just recently had an experience with a child who had a really important deadline. I was very clear with them, leading up to that deadline, about what the expectations were if they wanted to claim our help in this specific situation.
When that deadline came, I said, “You didn’t do the things you needed to do by today, and you’ve had a long time to solve this problem. So, I’m saying no.”
That’s really tough to say. It’s tough to say to anyone—especially to your children—when it’s something good, something you really want for them. I wanted them to be able to go out and do this thing, and I knew I had the means to just open the door and make it simple. But if it doesn’t cost them anything, if they aren’t in it with me, if they don’t care enough about it to prepare themselves—then I should not rescue them. Because I’d be teaching them the wrong lesson.
I’d be getting in the way of reality working itself out in their life. I wouldn’t be teaching them that the law of the harvest is real. And they’re going to bump up against that hard reality over and over in their life. I’ve had a paradigm shift about this—and it has radically changed our home.
Let me share one last powerful paradigm shift with you as we wrap up. Then I’ll read something from Covey about what paradigm shifts look like so you can begin to recognize them for yourself.
Recently in our business—The Mission Driven Mom and our academy—growth had slowed. We didn’t want that to happen. We wanted to keep growing. In fact, we want huge growth. So, we started showing up differently. We tried to live the principles better, to look at what we were doing honestly, to invest more time in the right things. And those things were helping. We were definitely making progress.
But we needed more. We needed paradigm shifts—maybe several of them—because we long for this message to reach millions of people. And we’re not there yet. So we’ve got to close that gap. And the fastest way to do that is to experience the paradigm shifts that will change our attitudes and behavior quickly.
So, we made a big investment to put ourselves in the company of people who are much more successful than we are. We also paid for an online business school so we could educate ourselves much more quickly in the principles of success. We wanted help from people who live these principles, and who are seeing great results.
We wanted to be in their physical presence—to see the world through their lens and begin to adopt that lens. And it's working. You're going to start seeing growth as you do these three things:
- Get in company with people who have what you want.
- Study books, courses, videos—any resources that teach the principles you need.
- Keep an open heart and mind so the paradigm shifts can come.
Because when they do, attitudes and behaviors get a lot easier to change.
Here’s what happened for us. After joining this program and paying for the course, a book arrived in the mail from the organization we’re working with. I opened it and immediately knew it was going to change the way I think.
It was Benjamin Hardy’s brand-new book, The Science of Scaling. We got an early copy. And we had a radical paradigm shift when he taught us the difference between linear thinking and holistic thinking.
Now we understand—we don’t need to run our business in a linear fashion. We’ll see far more success, and more quickly, if we operate holistically: managing our time in holistic ways, thinking differently. Everything changed for us.
Our goals changed. Our timelines changed. The way we run the business, the team we’re building—all of it shifted. Our attitudes and behaviors changed. We became excited, energized, and encouraged.
Why? Because for months prior, we had shown our commitment to being different. We were doing everything we could to learn and grow. We were keeping our hearts and minds open.
If you do those three things—get in the right company, study truth, and stay open—you will experience radical paradigm shifts. And those shifts will change everything for you.
You’ll find yourself putting in more hours—but more joyfully. Working more efficiently. Being more consistent in the things that matter. Scaling back unnecessary things. Focusing on the most important things.
And you’ll start seeing real momentum. That’s already happening for us.
We now have more clarity and I’m super excited for the growth ahead—for all the people who are going to be exposed to the Seven Laws of Life Mission, learn how to live a mission-driven life, come into our Academy, and be changed forever.
Many will join our Clapham team after graduating the Academy, and go out into the world—supported and empowered—to make a difference with their gifts and talents, blessing their communities and beyond.
Let me be clear—paradigm shifts are not depressing.
Yes, they can sting a little. They might be hard to hear at first. You might feel that little internal prick of, “Ugh... that’s true. That’s hard.” But sometimes people think they’ve had a paradigm shift when they haven’t.
For example, someone gets terrible news or hears something devastating about someone they love. They get overwhelmed, start doubting their faith, and maybe even leave their religion. But that’s not a paradigm shift. That’s the beginning of a journey—and it still requires a lot of information, questions, details, and hard work.
A true paradigm shift is enlightening and empowering. It’s often painful—but not in a despairing way. It might involve recognizing that you need to change—but it comes with a sense of hope, clarity, and forward momentum.
You feel energized. You want to learn more. You can see that you’ve been seeing the world incorrectly—and now you see more clearly. It uplifts you. It excites you. It shifts everything in your life.
There may be a short moment of, “Wow. I’ve really been messing this up.” Like when I realized how I’d been treating my extended family. That was painful. But after that moment of clarity, I could never go back to being the same. I couldn’t unsee it. Even if I’d wanted to keep acting the same, I would’ve known, deep down, that the distance between us was my fault. That I was holding them at arm’s length.
That’s what Covey talks about in The 7 Habits. He shares a powerful story of having a paradigm shift on a subway. In that moment, he said:
“Suddenly I saw things differently. And because I saw differently, I thought differently. I felt differently. I behaved differently. My irritation vanished. I didn’t have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior. My heart was filled with empathy. Sympathy and compassion flowed freely. Everything changed in an instant.”
That’s the kind of powerful experience you can have.
And that’s what we’re facilitating for women in the MDM Academy. That’s why they experience so much growth in such a short period of time.
Women who complete all levels of the Academy are with us for two or three years—and they are fundamentally changed. They never see the world the same way again.
They know how to cut through the confusion in the culture. They know how to discern truth for themselves. They know how to find actionable principles and apply them in their lives. They know how to put their homes in order.
I recently asked a few of them what’s changed most. They said things like, “confidence,” “self-acceptance,” “clarity.” The transformation is real. It’s beautiful.
And it’s fueled not just by changing behavior or attitude—but by changing paradigms. By changing the way they see the world.
That’s what’s possible for you. That’s the journey you can be on—if you choose it.
So go out and find people who have what you want. Submerge yourself in the best books and resources. Keep your heart and mind open—and I promise you, God will give you the paradigm shifts you need.
He wants you to grow. He wants to bless your life. He has missions for you to fulfill.
Thank you so much for joining me today. And always remember:
You are unique and gifted.
God has special missions just for you.
And as you get busy discovering and fulfilling your unique contribution to the world, you’ll watch yourself blossom, your family strengthen, and your community be blessed.
See you next time!
